Behind Every Peace Hero is A Supporting Peace Hero Parent: The Stories of Doblon Dalomanding and Salimah M. Corot

Mrs. Doblon “Hajja Ashiyah” Dalomanding and Mrs. Salimah Corot are parents from Rantian Elementary School who participated in the Parents for Peace mentoring program. They are both the mothers of Rantian peace heroes in Ditsaan Ramain. Rantian is a community in Lanao del Sur province’s municipality of Ditsaan-Ramain. Being unable to effectively control flooding without rain is one of Rantian’s ongoing problems. Family disputes, or rido, do arise occasionally. Still, compared to other barangays of Ramain, Rantian consistently finds a peaceful solution to conflicts.

TPBPM takes a holistic and inclusive approach, believing that every aspect of our society and community has a responsibility to fulfill. The Peace Hero principle applies to parents, teachers, and children alike, and it is about the transformation that teachers, parents, and children have demonstrated ever since they began their journey toward peacebuilding with TPBPM. In the Filipino culture, a child’s family has a significant influence on their life path. TPBPM used a psychological approach to understand the impact of a child’s family and environment on their growth and the formation of a peacekeeper mindset. Building peace can begin with your family. Communities would benefit from supporting families that nurture and raise physically and mentally healthy children and socially responsible individuals (Global Peace Foundation, 2014).

Although not all parents were persuaded to join, Mrs. Dalomanding and Mrs. Corot felt excitement and curiosity when they signed up to participate in the Parents for Peace Sessions because they knew they could explore lessons other than the Islamic perspective on promoting peace in the community.

A few months into the program, Mrs. Dalomanding noticed changes in her parenting approach and her husband’s communication. She used to neglect her husband, her kids, and even the little things like getting involved in their work and school. But after discovering the five different love languages, she understood her crucial role as a mother in teaching her children the value of kindness and love, not just for their own sake but for others. She now knows to take a calmer approach and to remember not to take criticism personally whenever she feels like her neighbors do not like the way she prepares some dishes.

While Mrs. Corot began to value that the kalilintad or peace in Maranao is a reflection of the kalilintad we create in our homes until we reach it ourselves, she has eight (8) children who initially believed that conflict and chaos were normal in her family. However, through Teach Peace Build Peace Movement, and with the help of her Peace Hero son, she showed the rest of the family that a peaceful home is possible despite personality and thought differences.

Thanks to the program, she learned more about peacefully raising her children. She gained an enhanced understanding of peace and children’s rights from the Islamic perspective.

Mrs. Dalomanding and Corot recognized parents’ crucial role in helping their children become role models for peace. They knew that violent extremism could still exist in Rantian even though they had not directly been affected by the Marawi Siege. Parents can teach their children to avoid any form of violence, or harmful behavior, such as school bullying. However, after teaching their children and themselves the peace hero principle, they did not anticipate feeling a sense of comfort and a sense of vital responsibility in maintaining peace in their community. As it relates to Rantian, where Islam serves as their primary source of guidance, this can serve as a lesson to other communities that have been exposed to unrest and violent conflict that being a good Muslim requires being a peaceful neighbor, sibling, or brother, and parent to your community.

Making the Foundations of A Peaceful Home: The Story of Monawira Dimarunsung-Mamailao

Concealing One’s Thoughts and Emotions

Observing her Maranao household, Monawira grew up timid, quiet, and inexpressive in her thoughts and emotions. She kept it to herself whenever she was struggling or having problems and would not speak about it.

Even though she has a family now, she remains silent about her experiences. She recalled how her children would kid around her to make her comfortable or ask her to open up her thoughts, but she would not share anything with them. Instead, she went to a corner, stayed hushed, and cried to herself.

Likewise, Monawira noticed one of her children sharing the behavior alike. Her child was in Grade 4 and was as reserved as her. Whenever the child was bullied by their older siblings, Monawira observed her child sit quietly in a corner and write her thoughts and feelings on a piece of paper. This paper will then be shared with her to give to the older siblings. She also received comments from the school that her child performs well academically, yet they remain impassive among their peers.

Given that the home is the first developmental environment of children, studies show that children tend to imitate what they see, hear, and say from adults. Young children pay attention to their environment and copy the actions being done by the people around them. This active approach helped in how children make sense of their surroundings. That said, exposure to conflict, violence, and hate is a potential risk for a child to learn about how the world works, as it may lead them to antipathy and insecurity. These impressions are entry points for social misconduct and violent behavior.

Allowing oneself to express freely and peacefully

Upon participating in the Peace Heroes Formation Program, Monawira realized the importance of sharing her thoughts and feelings peacefully to encourage her children to be more confident and proactive in nurturing a peaceful environment.

This insight slowly motivated her to get out of her shell to talk more and interact within the household, which surprised her children. The openness made her closer to her children and made them feel more secure at home. Moreover, she also felt relieved to be able to foster this kind of relationship with her family.

Learning about the different developmental stages of children and youth, Monawira could use this newfound confidence to adapt her parenting style according to the needs of her children. She used peaceful communication to nurture a peaceful environment within their home by providing a safe space where her children could express themselves freely.

Parents are the first teachers of every child. Children’s observation contributes to their overall well-being and manifests as they grow into adulthood. By being more confident in expressing herself, Monawira cultivated a deeper connection with her children and adapted peaceful parenting techniques to ensure they would grow to be peace heroes of their own.

As she learned to express herself, Monawira Dimarunsung-Mamailao also opened her doors to a more peaceful home.

Teaching Gentle and Inner Peace: The Story of Baimonah Mamacol

Baimonah “Ma’am Bai” Mamacol is a grade 6 teacher at Buayaan Elementary School in Ditsaan, Ramain Lanao del Sur. She has ten years of teaching experience and is a mother of four. She enjoys going to training seminars for her professional growth. Her family is native to the town of Ditsaan-Ramain, one of the communities closest to Marawi. She remembered vividly the terror they had to live through in Marawi as the fighting persisted.

Ma’am Bai is a participant in the Peace Education Leadership Formation Course for Educators, which trained teachers on how to integrate peace education in schools as well as how to live peacefully and incorporate peaceful practices into their daily lives.

During the Marawi Siege, she and her family decided to stay to protect their properties until the siege was over. Until now, she finds it unbelievable how the sounds of bombs going off and gunfire started to become a part of their daily lives at that time. They must take longer trips each week around Lanao Lake to Iligan, which is five times longer, to buy and maintain their daily needs. They have been able to survive without electricity for the past four months because Marawi’s primary source had to be shut down for security reasons. Because of the stress, worry, and hassle of daily life, she came to understand the value of instilling peace in her students.

She learned a lot during the siege about being a Muslim, a daughter, and a parent. She is aware that she can help her students, but she is unsure of how to get started. She remembers how, when schools in Lanao opened a month after the siege, the importance of peace education became essential. Since students decided to attend classes during that time of ongoing fighting in Marawi, it put her profession as a teacher to the test. She can only hope that there are ways to teach peace or even a proper way to process her student’s feelings and have inner peace from the ongoing conflict.

Years after, Ma’am Bai met Teach Peace Build Peace Movement (TPBPM); she heard that an organization would train not only students but the teacher and parents, too, in an inclusive and holistic approach to peace education. They believe that every part of our society and our community has a role to play. She was enthusiastic when she heard about the learning opportunities for peace education. She is aware that teachers, like the students, would appreciate these lessons being imparted to their lives, as they were also victims of the Marawi siege.

Throughout the course, she came to understand that there are internal paths to achieving peace in addition to an external battle for harmony. She learned how being gentle with her students would impact her outlook on life. She felt most at ease when she became gentle. She concludes that being gentle involves treating not just others but also ourselves.

“It surprised me how I changed from being a nag when they are naughty or misbehaving to becoming gentler and implementing peaceful classroom management. It also made me feel good.”

She enjoys learning about different love languages and how to use them with different people in her life. First, her family. As a mother of four, she is now more aware of the needs of each of her children because they all express their love in different ways. Then she goes to work, where the faculty members may have different views and guiding principles, but after the lesson, something has changed in the way they approach misunderstanding and differences.

“Like any other workplace, we teachers encounter misunderstandings also. But after the program, we learned tolerance and gained more understanding that we have different stories and struggles. I learned that there were conflicts that we needed to peacefully resolve, especially if it would affect other people in the school, and we do not want students to see us fighting over little things.”

She enjoys learning about different love languages and how to use them with different people in her life. First, her family. As a mother of four, she is now more aware of the needs of each of her children because they all express their love in different ways. Then she goes to work, where the faculty members may have different views and guiding principles, but after the lesson, something has changed in the way they approach misunderstanding and differences.

“Like any other workplace, we teachers encounter misunderstandings also. But after the program, we learned tolerance and gained more understanding that we have different stories and struggles. I learned that there were conflicts that we needed to peacefully resolve, especially if it would affect other people in the school, and we do not want students to see us fighting over little things.”

Protecting Your Inner Peace to Share Peace : The Story of Jamellah Alih

To be able to impart peace, Jamellah Alih found that one should be able to foster peace within themselves first.

When Doubt Disturbs One’s Peace of Mind

For Jamellah, fulfilling the role of teaching continues after the usual lessons within classrooms. They pass on to their students the values of compassion and gratefulness. These acts of kindness motivated their students to create thank-you cards that the teacher uploaded to their social media accounts.

However, recalling an instance when a parent went to the school to attack them, Jamellah found themselves doubting their capability as a teacher. Without warning, the parent went straight to the student who was said to be bullying their child. The teacher tried to intervene and mediate between the parent and the child, only for them to become the center of the blame. The enraged parent made Jamellah feel insecure about their responsibility and that they should be held accountable for the accusations.

After this experience, Jamellah always felt that a parent or a child would suddenly come and attack them. They placed themselves in an uncomfortable position of self-doubt and extreme criticism of their actions. The stress brought by the encounter also brought them fatigue and loss of appetite.

The culture of hate and violence can manifest in various forms, including self-hatred brought by doubt and insecurity. Studies show that among the drivers of violent extremism are the individual motivations and processes which become ‘pull factors’ for them to be vulnerable to violent behavior. Jamellah’s experience of contempt for oneself can bring them to mirror that hate toward others.

Rediscovering The Passion

When they joined the Peace Education Leadership Formation Course of the Teach Peace Build Peace Movement, she became aware of protecting one’s inner peace through meditation, mindfulness, and cyber peace. They started to focus on protecting their inner peace and found ways to cultivate a peaceful environment for themselves.

At one time, Jamellah was scrolling through social media when they found an album filled with thank-you cards from their past students. These posts reminded them why they took a teaching profession – for the children. To keep this drive, they found protecting their inner peace an essential part of sustainability.

Soon, they became more aware of their thoughts and actions in face-to-face interactions and online conversations. The content they posted and shared was sensitive to other people’s feelings. They also ensured that these posts were not misleading or instigating negative discussions.

Learning that conflict will always be a part of life, Jamellah now faced these struggles with deep breaths and an open mind. They know that how they think, see, feel, and hear will always reflect the peace values they want to impart to their students.

Since the teacher is at the core of every classroom, it is important that a teacher also protects and nurtures their inner peace.

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