Concealing One’s Thoughts and Emotions

Observing her Maranao household, Monawira grew up timid, quiet, and inexpressive in her thoughts and emotions. She kept it to herself whenever she was struggling or having problems and would not speak about it.

Even though she has a family now, she remains silent about her experiences. She recalled how her children would kid around her to make her comfortable or ask her to open up her thoughts, but she would not share anything with them. Instead, she went to a corner, stayed hushed, and cried to herself.

Likewise, Monawira noticed one of her children sharing the behavior alike. Her child was in Grade 4 and was as reserved as her. Whenever the child was bullied by their older siblings, Monawira observed her child sit quietly in a corner and write her thoughts and feelings on a piece of paper. This paper will then be shared with her to give to the older siblings. She also received comments from the school that her child performs well academically, yet they remain impassive among their peers.

Given that the home is the first developmental environment of children, studies show that children tend to imitate what they see, hear, and say from adults. Young children pay attention to their environment and copy the actions being done by the people around them. This active approach helped in how children make sense of their surroundings. That said, exposure to conflict, violence, and hate is a potential risk for a child to learn about how the world works, as it may lead them to antipathy and insecurity. These impressions are entry points for social misconduct and violent behavior.

Allowing oneself to express freely and peacefully

Upon participating in the Peace Heroes Formation Program, Monawira realized the importance of sharing her thoughts and feelings peacefully to encourage her children to be more confident and proactive in nurturing a peaceful environment.

This insight slowly motivated her to get out of her shell to talk more and interact within the household, which surprised her children. The openness made her closer to her children and made them feel more secure at home. Moreover, she also felt relieved to be able to foster this kind of relationship with her family.

Learning about the different developmental stages of children and youth, Monawira could use this newfound confidence to adapt her parenting style according to the needs of her children. She used peaceful communication to nurture a peaceful environment within their home by providing a safe space where her children could express themselves freely.

Parents are the first teachers of every child. Children’s observation contributes to their overall well-being and manifests as they grow into adulthood. By being more confident in expressing herself, Monawira cultivated a deeper connection with her children and adapted peaceful parenting techniques to ensure they would grow to be peace heroes of their own.

As she learned to express herself, Monawira Dimarunsung-Mamailao also opened her doors to a more peaceful home.