Mrs. Doblon “Hajja Ashiyah” Dalomanding and Mrs. Salimah Corot are parents from Rantian Elementary School who participated in the Parents for Peace mentoring program. They are both the mothers of Rantian peace heroes in Ditsaan Ramain. Rantian is a community in Lanao del Sur province’s municipality of Ditsaan-Ramain. Being unable to effectively control flooding without rain is one of Rantian’s ongoing problems. Family disputes, or rido, do arise occasionally. Still, compared to other barangays of Ramain, Rantian consistently finds a peaceful solution to conflicts.

TPBPM takes a holistic and inclusive approach, believing that every aspect of our society and community has a responsibility to fulfill. The Peace Hero principle applies to parents, teachers, and children alike, and it is about the transformation that teachers, parents, and children have demonstrated ever since they began their journey toward peacebuilding with TPBPM. In the Filipino culture, a child’s family has a significant influence on their life path. TPBPM used a psychological approach to understand the impact of a child’s family and environment on their growth and the formation of a peacekeeper mindset. Building peace can begin with your family. Communities would benefit from supporting families that nurture and raise physically and mentally healthy children and socially responsible individuals (Global Peace Foundation, 2014).

Although not all parents were persuaded to join, Mrs. Dalomanding and Mrs. Corot felt excitement and curiosity when they signed up to participate in the Parents for Peace Sessions because they knew they could explore lessons other than the Islamic perspective on promoting peace in the community.

A few months into the program, Mrs. Dalomanding noticed changes in her parenting approach and her husband’s communication. She used to neglect her husband, her kids, and even the little things like getting involved in their work and school. But after discovering the five different love languages, she understood her crucial role as a mother in teaching her children the value of kindness and love, not just for their own sake but for others. She now knows to take a calmer approach and to remember not to take criticism personally whenever she feels like her neighbors do not like the way she prepares some dishes.

While Mrs. Corot began to value that the kalilintad or peace in Maranao is a reflection of the kalilintad we create in our homes until we reach it ourselves, she has eight (8) children who initially believed that conflict and chaos were normal in her family. However, through Teach Peace Build Peace Movement, and with the help of her Peace Hero son, she showed the rest of the family that a peaceful home is possible despite personality and thought differences.

Thanks to the program, she learned more about peacefully raising her children. She gained an enhanced understanding of peace and children’s rights from the Islamic perspective.

Mrs. Dalomanding and Corot recognized parents’ crucial role in helping their children become role models for peace. They knew that violent extremism could still exist in Rantian even though they had not directly been affected by the Marawi Siege. Parents can teach their children to avoid any form of violence, or harmful behavior, such as school bullying. However, after teaching their children and themselves the peace hero principle, they did not anticipate feeling a sense of comfort and a sense of vital responsibility in maintaining peace in their community. As it relates to Rantian, where Islam serves as their primary source of guidance, this can serve as a lesson to other communities that have been exposed to unrest and violent conflict that being a good Muslim requires being a peaceful neighbor, sibling, or brother, and parent to your community.

Concealing One’s Thoughts and Emotions

Observing her Maranao household, Monawira grew up timid, quiet, and inexpressive in her thoughts and emotions. She kept it to herself whenever she was struggling or having problems and would not speak about it.

Even though she has a family now, she remains silent about her experiences. She recalled how her children would kid around her to make her comfortable or ask her to open up her thoughts, but she would not share anything with them. Instead, she went to a corner, stayed hushed, and cried to herself.

Likewise, Monawira noticed one of her children sharing the behavior alike. Her child was in Grade 4 and was as reserved as her. Whenever the child was bullied by their older siblings, Monawira observed her child sit quietly in a corner and write her thoughts and feelings on a piece of paper. This paper will then be shared with her to give to the older siblings. She also received comments from the school that her child performs well academically, yet they remain impassive among their peers.

Given that the home is the first developmental environment of children, studies show that children tend to imitate what they see, hear, and say from adults. Young children pay attention to their environment and copy the actions being done by the people around them. This active approach helped in how children make sense of their surroundings. That said, exposure to conflict, violence, and hate is a potential risk for a child to learn about how the world works, as it may lead them to antipathy and insecurity. These impressions are entry points for social misconduct and violent behavior.

Allowing oneself to express freely and peacefully

Upon participating in the Peace Heroes Formation Program, Monawira realized the importance of sharing her thoughts and feelings peacefully to encourage her children to be more confident and proactive in nurturing a peaceful environment.

This insight slowly motivated her to get out of her shell to talk more and interact within the household, which surprised her children. The openness made her closer to her children and made them feel more secure at home. Moreover, she also felt relieved to be able to foster this kind of relationship with her family.

Learning about the different developmental stages of children and youth, Monawira could use this newfound confidence to adapt her parenting style according to the needs of her children. She used peaceful communication to nurture a peaceful environment within their home by providing a safe space where her children could express themselves freely.

Parents are the first teachers of every child. Children’s observation contributes to their overall well-being and manifests as they grow into adulthood. By being more confident in expressing herself, Monawira cultivated a deeper connection with her children and adapted peaceful parenting techniques to ensure they would grow to be peace heroes of their own.

Marjo Bashiron is a mother from Ramain, Lanao del Sur. She grew up in a home or family involved in a family feud (rido). In these situations, she narrates that male members of her family are restricted from going out of their houses because of death threats and risks; thus, the female members have to do chores and responsibilities that require them to go out. Most of the members are also vigilant when they are outside. For instance, when they are on motorcycles, they must examine their environment as they are afraid of getting shot anytime.

Rido refers to a state of recurring hostilities between families and kinship groups characterized by a series of retaliatory acts of violence carried out to avenge a perceived injustice. One of its causes is it affects the physical, mental, and moral character of the involved person due to the terror of retaliatory acts of violence. In the narrative of Marjo, because of restricted mobility and mounting risks of death threats, they often feel isolated and excluded. These can be worrisome when unaddressed as they contribute to the push factors where individuals join violent extremist groups.

When Marjo became part of the program, she was very relieved because of the sense of community she experienced. Before, she was hesitant and afraid of talking with other people because of her family’s rido problems, but the frequent conduct of the sessions improved her confidence in engaging with other parents. She got the opportunity to know them. One of her realizations, during the peaceful parenting session, is that most parents resonate with what she is going through. Marjo knows what kind of conflict surrounds them and she is determined that her children will not undergo the same experience she had; thus, she is incredibly happy to be a learner of the peace education sessions, together with her child who is also part of the Peace Hero Kids Ambassadors program. She commends this holistic approach because she and her child understand the learnings and values together and undergo the same journey of making peace as a way of life.

Another significant realization that she has is her significant role as a parent. First, parents guide their children to do acts of goodness and kindness to others. Second, parents must emanate the sense of belongingness and love that their children are looking for. Lastly, parents serve as their children’s first teachers and their homes as their first schools.

As a mother, she emphasized her role to nurture her children’s positive values so that they will grow up treating others with compassion and understanding. Her narratives complement the Global Counterterrorism Forum’s (GCTF) recommendation of informing and empowering mothers to play a significant prevention role in violent extremism. GCTF also posits that families, as a conduit of cultures and beliefs, can play a significant role in shaping attitudes towards non-violence; hence, the need to prioritise and strengthen family-based programs.

Marjo also notes that learning about her children’s developmental stages, peaceful communication, and love languages were extremely helpful in being effective in her various roles as a parent. Apart from her change of mindset about her role as a parent, she also realized that this role extends outside their homes. As parents, they can also affect positive change in their schools and communities. Before, her feeling of isolation from the community due to family feuds made her passive in community engagements. She thought “it is what it is.” Now, she becomes very active in school – participating in and leading school activities.