Marjo Bashiron is a mother from Ramain, Lanao del Sur. She grew up in a home or family involved in a family feud (rido). In these situations, she narrates that male members of her family are restricted from going out of their houses because of death threats and risks; thus, the female members have to do chores and responsibilities that require them to go out. Most of the members are also vigilant when they are outside. For instance, when they are on motorcycles, they must examine their environment as they are afraid of getting shot anytime.

Rido refers to a state of recurring hostilities between families and kinship groups characterized by a series of retaliatory acts of violence carried out to avenge a perceived injustice. One of its causes is it affects the physical, mental, and moral character of the involved person due to the terror of retaliatory acts of violence. In the narrative of Marjo, because of restricted mobility and mounting risks of death threats, they often feel isolated and excluded. These can be worrisome when unaddressed as they contribute to the push factors where individuals join violent extremist groups.

When Marjo became part of the program, she was very relieved because of the sense of community she experienced. Before, she was hesitant and afraid of talking with other people because of her family’s rido problems, but the frequent conduct of the sessions improved her confidence in engaging with other parents. She got the opportunity to know them. One of her realizations, during the peaceful parenting session, is that most parents resonate with what she is going through. Marjo knows what kind of conflict surrounds them and she is determined that her children will not undergo the same experience she had; thus, she is incredibly happy to be a learner of the peace education sessions, together with her child who is also part of the Peace Hero Kids Ambassadors program. She commends this holistic approach because she and her child understand the learnings and values together and undergo the same journey of making peace as a way of life.

Another significant realization that she has is her significant role as a parent. First, parents guide their children to do acts of goodness and kindness to others. Second, parents must emanate the sense of belongingness and love that their children are looking for. Lastly, parents serve as their children’s first teachers and their homes as their first schools.

As a mother, she emphasized her role to nurture her children’s positive values so that they will grow up treating others with compassion and understanding. Her narratives complement the Global Counterterrorism Forum’s (GCTF) recommendation of informing and empowering mothers to play a significant prevention role in violent extremism. GCTF also posits that families, as a conduit of cultures and beliefs, can play a significant role in shaping attitudes towards non-violence; hence, the need to prioritise and strengthen family-based programs.

Marjo also notes that learning about her children’s developmental stages, peaceful communication, and love languages were extremely helpful in being effective in her various roles as a parent. Apart from her change of mindset about her role as a parent, she also realized that this role extends outside their homes. As parents, they can also affect positive change in their schools and communities. Before, her feeling of isolation from the community due to family feuds made her passive in community engagements. She thought “it is what it is.” Now, she becomes very active in school – participating in and leading school activities.

“I believe that tolerating violence at home and in communities will lead us wayward in achieving peace and development; hence, we must act to prevent violence and manage conflicts so that our children will not experience isolation, exclusion, and constant fear.”